to you: when something's not enough

I was furtively contemplating on the things I must do in the near future to get partly ahead of what currently is seeming to be the slowest and most moronic pace my life has ever moved to date when I suddenly realized how painfully devastating it must have been for you to have to excruciatingly endure all the stupid things that I did. Believe it or not, my mind just stopped and it somehow felt like it was one of those 'how it was supposed to be' type of thing. Ironically, when it started running again, all I could muster into thinking about was..

I'm Sorry.

I was a dim-witted prick. We both know that. In fact you knew about that even before we started things going. But anyways, so yeah I was a dick. I was even more after what happened. I even surprised myself because I can't seem to know where I got the guts to have still shown my face to you after all that has happened between us.

I have wronged you and for that I know I deserve everything that you're doing to me right now. It's a little too late for this I know, but whatever it is that made me think of writing this, I couldn't be thankful enough for making me appreciate the warmth and tenderness of all the emotions you have shared with me in all those times that we were inseparable.. all those times when we couldn't care less of the shizzits happening around.. all those times...

 when loving just seemed not enough.