i will focus

One day 

I will see the world 

and 

make my mark on it.

Letters to Marlboro

What you did to me only means one thing - hindi mo na ako mahal. You didn't have to pretend that you do just to keep me hooked on you. I just wish I knew how to quit you.

I find peace when I'm confused. I find hope when I'm let down.

 -- Switchfoot (You)

treading..

my bare feet and the sands of Coron making love -- precious!

great-ful

There are lots of reasons why even on the gloomiest of days, we would still raise our heads up and say thanks to Him. Thank you Lord for giving me the strength to push on and showering me with love in the simplest of ways. You there.. thank you! :)

Goodbye N97 mini

November 11, 2010

One of the most appalling and most unforgettable and horrendous experiences in my life happened on this date. I was riding a jeepney on my way home from Robinson's Place Manila. That was where I met the god of the nastiest omens. He was with his battalion of evil. He was wearing jeans, loose gangsta shirt and a white nikey hat. He sat in front of me. Two of his affiliates positioned themselves on my left and right wings. Another one was situated beside him, discreetly playing with his folding pocket/butterfly knife (balisong). Then they began to execute what they were there for. They moved with precision: very scientific and cautious at the same time.

2 minutes.. 

3 minutes.. 

Boom 

I heard the devil shouted. "Para na!!"

That's when the world crumbled right in front of me. 

There was nothing I could do.

I can't help but grieve.

*** ***

I was deeply sorry for myself not because

 I just lost one of my most treasured possessions.

But for the reason that..

It's a birthday gift from

my two sisters 

working their asses off in Los Angeles.

here comes goodbye

Those days are gone. 

The uncertainty in me about being capable of loving another the way I did for her breaks my heart. 

It went from good to gone. 

Now, I'm numb. 

That's what hurts the most.

Dealing With

I know I must.

I've learned it the hard way. Whenever melancholy comes my way, I always see myself welcoming it with open arms. I taught myself the art of dealing with the consequences of my erroneous choices and decisions.. the number 1 on my How to Deal list.. my first aid.. my counterattack. I must play with and experiment on all the possible strategies. They're limitless, very much like the errors one person can commit. With these mishaps, intentionally or not, I know I may have hurt the people that I love. Undeniably though, I have learnt to accept that there is no one that hurts more with these things that I do than myself. But even with the pain, it is just not in my nature to back down.

Painful misery (is there such a thing that isn't painful??) I don't hide from it. I know that even if I do, the effects of my mishaps will still be there.. getting even more insanely complex, relentlessly eminent - like neon lights built to attract passersby. I face em like the mirrors in my bathroom with courage. Cause i have always believed that the tails of depression also known as sadness and sorrow aren't there to last. These two S's aren't in for infinity. But they will though if I let em. I welcome them like guests invited for dinner. Once the dinner is over, the natural order of things takes effect. Guests don't stay over but they only leave when they are told. Being the person who prepared the dinner, it is upto me to determine when exactly is the right time to show them the door.

yummy rip-off

Nissin Chocolate Wafer

Nusica

LOACKER!!!!!

My Bestfriend's Blog

click on the link :)

Surviving Singapore - Wisest Backpacker

sneak peek :D

FYI

Forever doesn't even come close to the word

I want to use to describe the span of time 

I'll be treasuring her.

es ih ex

There is no sadness in this world that can't be cured by getting laid.
The state of reaching that euphoric climax known as orgasm/ejaculation really makes people forget.

Kahit panandalian lang.

5:19 by Matt Wertz

                                     If i could talk to you, I want you to know          

                                                       I'm holding loose

     but ain't letting go..

please know

My God, You blessed me with so much. Thank you! :) i appreciate every little thing You have done for me. We both know life has continually smacked me with sh%t and all, but even so, You were always there, every heartbreaking second of all my painful minutes, every glorious minute of all my happy hours, every momentous hour of all the days i spent celebrating, every gruesome day of all those tiring weeks, every relentless week of all those exonerating and exhausting months, and every significant and fruitful month of all my adventure-filled years. I know, and i thank You for this already, that You will still be there, loving me, even after this lifetime. Please know that I love You and will always be loving You back.

kapag san juan

September 25, 2010 - Pagsanjan Falls. Just came back from Singapore tapos eto.. Gastos again! Susmiyo.. Parang namumulot lng ng pera. Putangina! Anyways, this is how you do it. 

First, find the cheapest office offering the Pagsanjan tour package.. make sure to do this in Laguna: not in Manila, and specially not ONLINE.

The package includes..

 Boat Ride to the freakin falls. This pic shows how the boats look like. 

Make sure you don't sway from side to side.

Unless you want to take an early dip, then feel free to do so.

 If it's peak season, then you will have several boats going upstream with you. 

Be friendly to them but more than that, don't piss your boatmen off.

 The scenery is outstanding.. It reminded me of Jurassic Park sans the dinos.

 Several mini falls like this await tourists. 

The rest area sells meals. :) It's also where you should eat if you didn't eat before you left town.

Take pictures.. But make sure that your face isn't shaded like this fool right here. 

 I said take pictures. But don't have yours taken with a freakin stranger!!

 Don't be mad, I'm just saying.

 Boatmen have strong legs, to kick the water errrr.. 

the rocks along the way so they can push the boat
with your heavy ass upstream.

 You'll reach the majestic falls and its huge and very deep basin within an hour to an hour and a half 

(without stopping at the rest area)

 Yes, it has this rope that lets the boatmen maneuver the raft towards and under the falls.

Important: Bring an underwater camera (waterproof ones will do)

[though there isn't much to see behind the falls.. 

only wet coconut husks and some wood.]

 Yes, you are allowed to swim and jump off of the raft with or without any lifejackets, if you can.

When it's time to go back, don't forget to say goodbye to the waterfall. 

It's called etiquette.

 Another view and another falls. 

nice right?

Boatmen don't complain. 

They only deliberately ask for tip before you leave their boat. 

Annoying. 

 Bring paraphernalia like shades, chips etc.

And oh! Buy one like this farming hat.

It looks good on tourists by default.

 On the way, there's this buko/coconut juice stand. 

They sell it fresh, or so this guy says.

Trustworthy or not, I don't fuckin care.

I want me some refreshment.

Yes I drank and I drove. Got a problem?

Bleh :P

spot on!

       GUTS = Grace under Pressure       

make it a real-ationship

I wish for boys and girls who are in relationships to hold on to whatever it is that binds them together. Make yours last and if you can't, make them worthy for as long as you guys can.

after N years

After 2 years, I will embark on another international trip.

After 4 years, I'm going back to Singapore.

After 2 years, I'll be riding on a plane again. 

I like this facebook post a lot.

Cause I know it warms hearts.. 

I'm sure it's not just mine.

a funny bad dream

i have posted this already in facebook but ill get detailed here while im at it. :D

By 10pm last night, i was already sleeping. That was expected since by 6am yesterday i was already awake buying pandesal for my breakfast. the next thing that happened was something that i didnt expect. I woke up at around 2am from a very bad and really funny dream.

you see in my dream, anyone who texted 21H to some number (i wasnt quite sure where it should be sent but anyways...) would get shot and killed. the number of times it was sent would be the number of bullets spent for that person who sent it. 

so Lesly being the hardheaded sweet girl that she is, sent it numerous times (i wasnt quite sure how many times exactly and why she basically did that, maybe because she was trying to know if what SHOULD happen WOULD really happen or if its just a fluke)

so within 5 mins, a man came with his bike (twas prolly a harley)and jumped out of it without even parking. 

consequently, 3 cops were boozing their brains out in the terrace just outside our door (this happened in our house in bataan, tho i really dont know why there were cops with alcohol there)

everybody in my family was in the house, jeck and dex were even there. the aguilars too. 

the guy open fired with an ArmaLite (this was prolly because of the number of times Lesly sent that freakin message). he killed the cops who were in the terrace getting drunk.

as soon as we heard the gunshots we were screaming and running and hiding.

i didnt get to see if anybody else died or who else got shot but the funny thing was the area i got hit. i grabbed lesly and i pushed her to the dining area while i hid behind the piano thinking that id be safe there. bullets went through and 4 of those targeted my crotch. 

all these seemed really real that i was actually shaking while getting hit by the bullets and waking up all at once. i woke up holding and grabbing my balls just to check and see if they were still there.

hahaha

this was freaky! really!

random thought to self

C-L-E-A-N UP YER ACT!

Only for You

I'm thankful for everything that You've done. For all the blessings, the people who constantly support me, even those who don't, God I'm forever grateful. You have given me so much, even things that I don't deserve, You made sure I would have it. Dear God, You are my Lord, my greatest love. I wish You would continue to bless the people dear to me, bless them as You have blessed me. Please shower Your grace to those in need and keep them away from the suffrage that evil may bring them, the same way You enlightened my heart and mind. I am always here to offer You my servitude. To the people who have crossed the same paths that I did, please offer them the same graciousness and mercy You have shown me.

I love You with all my heart.

Where am I at right now?

HERE I AM, USING MY PHONE TO PUT UP A POST FOR THIS BLOG. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULDNT LET ME USE SMALL CAPS FOR THE CHARACTERS. IM CURRENTLY IN CLASS. CONSULAR AND DIPLOMATIC PRACTICES II. DAMMIT, I COULDNT EVEN USE THE ENTER KEY. WELL ANYWAYS, IM TOO OLD TO STILL BE IN SCHOOL BUT I CHOSE TO FINISH THIS PHASE IN MY LIFE SO I COULD MOVE ON AND HOPEFULLY STOP REGRETTING WHATEVER IT IS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST... CLASS IS DISMISSED. IL POST ANOTHER SOON..

from a lady i dearly miss

I was thinking if someone hated me? I was thinking why it had to affect other people? I was thinking what was the feeling of being left behind and being avoided? I was thinking why someone had to lose a friend amidst what happened?

"life is good, take care of it"

found something and reacted

"If they don't know how to value you, so let them go. It's much better to lose them than look stupid being with them.."

--I suddenly missed celebrating monthsaries and anniversaries. I swear I'm not kidding when I say I'm almost at the point of forgetting how it feels like to enjoy and celebrate such occasions.

TOO EARLY??

There is clearly no such thing..

Role Model

My classmate's niece is adept on conquering any possibilities of..

unwanted pregnancies.

LMFAO! =))

WTF??

Just because I smiled at you

out of nowhere

a little while earlier

 doesn't mean

 I'm plotting

 on

 spreading your legs wider

 a little while later.

unhealthy desires

Plain Cheeseburger (more often its double). Large Fries. Large Coke.

for years, ive indulged my intermittent hunger with these.

somehow, whenever i do.. I feel.. 

ok na sken to.. whenever.. wherever.. 

laughter and smiles

Ironically,

this has become one of my most succinct 

and 

most intoxicating facebook posts ever!

Enjoy!

*****

The post is nothing really special. 

But it's true. 

I guess it's the honesty that did the trick. 

It was somewhat surprising to see me last this long 

without someone to cuddle with. 

Yeah, I've been single for too long. 

But sincerely, it's a choice I made for myself. 

Not that there is a great need to explain myself here, 

but let it be known that it was I 

who decided to finish what i fucked up back then 

before messing up another. 

Dope!!

Sometimes it's a curse.

 I get pretty bored most times but indeed,

 it is a blessing.

3F's - Fish, Flirting and Friends. 

It ain't no race. It will never be.

 See! I told you. 

Most people think I wouldn't last without 

someone to be romantic with. 

I know I didn't need it.

Friends never left me. 

That fact alone, 

sufficed.

I didn't have a list of qualifications. 

Why would I give one

when I haven't finalized it yet? 

Now one of my guy friends meddled in. 

Ergo, dirty talk poured in. 

Then soon after,

 the past has come back to haunt me. 

And reactions..

 they kept coming.

I am not only preparing for a beautiful/better relationship.. 

I'm more focused on preparing my resume. 

It is something intangible that I can swing around people's faces 

so as to make sure that getting belittled would be the last thing 

I would ever consider as a problem.

Then I decided to play around a little bit.

I was a fool. 

That's probably why this post ended... 

a good sum of 45 comments,

X number of incomparable realizations,

 irreplaceable laugter

and 

unselfish smiles.

-FIN-